By plano 
Okay so last night my manager throws this weird task at me: “Figure out who does what between Baiano and Guedes.” Sounds simple right? Famous last words. I figured I’d just pull up some fancy stats sites, maybe watch a few highlights, bang out a quick post before grabbing a beer. Big mistake.
The “Research” Disaster Starts
First stop, the stats websites. Pure garbage. Trying to find specific actions? Forget it. One site says Baiano sprints constantly, another claims he sits deep. Which one is it? Nobody agrees! Stats for Guedes? Even worse. Apparently he passes midfield sometimes? Or is he always attacking? The numbers are all over the place, like kids making stuff up.
Fine, ditch the numbers. Video analysis time. Pulled up like five recent games. Started scrubbing footage, sweating like crazy trying to tag who was doing what in each scene. “Okay, here Baiano passed it… but wait, was that him pressing? Or was that Guedes lurking behind? Wait, who just made that run? Did they switch positions?” My notes looked like a toddler scribbled during a sugar rush. Circles, arrows, question marks everywhere. Zero clarity.
The Messy Truth Comes Out
Hours deep into this mess, watching the same plays over and over, it finally hits me. There’s no clean answer because it’s a total free-for-all on the pitch. They basically just run around wherever they feel like! One minute Baiano’s tracking back like a defender, next minute he’s practically doing Guedes’ job upfront. Guedes might be poaching in the box one second, then drop deep to collect the ball the next. No rigid roles, just chaos. They both try a bit of everything – pressing, passing, running, shooting – depending on the moment. It’s organized confusion.
The Final “Screw It” Moment
So yeah, the manager wanted a neat breakdown? Too bad. After wasting my whole evening, beer gone warm, I realized trying to pin specific jobs on them is pointless. You basically need two clones of the same guy – someone who runs a lot and does a bit of everything poorly defined. Maybe that’s the strategy? Just tire the other team out with relentless chaos? Who knows. My big conclusion? The team isn’t assigning clear roles because these two guys aren’t clear-cut specialists. They’re jacks-of-all-trades, scrambling around. Trying to put neat labels on it is like herding cats.
Anyway, turned in my “analysis” this morning – basically said “good luck defining this mess.” Manager looked annoyed, but hey, he asked. Probably cost me that bonus he keeps promising… whatever.