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Got curious today about who actually banks the most cash in Premier League football. Saw so many conflicting lists online – some said Haaland, others claimed De Bruyne or Salah. Decided to dig into it myself like a proper fan instead of just trusting random tweets.
Step 1: Finding Raw Data
Started my laptop thinking, “This can’t be that hard, right?” First stop? Club websites. Total disaster. Everton’s site hid salaries like state secrets. Clicked through Manchester United’s “Financial Reports” section for ages – found fancy charts about stadium upgrades but zip about player pay. Felt like looking for a needle in a haystack. Swore loudly.
Step 2: Hunting Online Repositories
Typed “Premier League wages database” into search engines. Scrolled past sketchy gambling sites and old Reddit threads from 2022. Finally landed on a few football finance sites everyone references. Found one claiming “2023-24 verified wages.” Jackpot… maybe. Saw names, clubs, pounds-per-week figures. Copied everything raw into a spreadsheet.
My messy table looked like this initially:
- Kevin De Bruyne – Man City – 400000
- Mo Salah – Liverpool – 350000
- Erling Haaland – Man City – 375000
- Jack Grealish – Man City – 300000
Step 3: Spreadsheet Chaos
Immediately screwed up. Typed =MAX(B2:B50) trying to find the highest number. Got zero. Realized too late I forgot to remove commas from the wages. Deleted all those cursed commas manually while muttering “idiot” under my breath. Re-ran the MAX formula. 400,000 stared back at me. Big brain move: sorted the whole dang column descending.
Facepalm Moment
Scrolled to the top spot: Kevin De Bruyne at £400,000 weekly. Felt smug for two seconds until I spotted Haaland right under him at £375k. Took a closer look at my “verified” source. Tiny footnote: “Basic salary excluding bonuses.” Realized KDB’s contract might have insane add-ons for goals or assists. Data felt incomplete. Had to decide: stick with base pay or dive into bonus hell?
Final Conclusion
For pure weekly guaranteed cash? De Bruyne wins this season. But if Haaland bags another Golden Boot next year? Bet he renegotiates. Moral of the story: finding wages is harder than scoring a Premier League goal. Websites suck, spreadsheets fight you, and nobody agrees what “highest paid” really means. Next time someone asks me this pub question? Telling them to do their own grunt work.