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Alright so today I tried predicting how Arsenal might set up against Bolton in this midweek cup tie. Woke up thinking it’d be straightforward, you know? Just shuffle the pack a bit. Yeah, right. Complete waste of time thinking it’d be simple.
First thing I did was scroll through the news feeds. Arteta gave some presser, talking about “evaluating the squad” and “opportunities for players”. Typical manager speak, basically said nothing useful. Then I saw those training pics they always leak. Gabriel Martinelli training separately? Or just taking a breather? Impossible to tell from fuzzy shots. Started banging my head against the keyboard already.
The Messy Stuff
So then I pulled up the injury list. Official site says one thing, rumours on forums scream another. Who do you trust? Nobody. Anyway, here’s the mess I found myself trying to clean up:
- Goalkeeper: Ramsdale usually gets these cup games, right? But then I remember Arteta dropped him cold last season. Does Raya play to build rhythm? Or give Ramsdale a bone? Utterly confused.
- Defence: They played Cedric and Tomiyasu last round. Cedric! But Timber’s fit now? Kinda? Seen him training. Do they throw him in against Bolton? Or save him? Saliba needs a rest, but Gabriel does too? Headache getting worse.
- Midfield: Partey… where is he even? Supposedly fit. Jorginho, probably rested. Elneny? Please no. So maybe Rice sits and Partey plays? Or Partey sits and Rice plays? What about Vieira? Oh god.
- Attack: Saka looks dead tired. Martinelli? Training pics unclear! Havertz had a stinker last game. Should Trossard play through the middle? Nelson definitely plays… maybe. Eddie up top? But Jesus might need minutes after injury. My brain is melting.
Falling Down the Rabbit Hole
Spent like two whole hours looking at stats. Bolton’s form, their average player height, how many fouls they commit in Zone 14… total overkill for a predicted cup lineup. Got dumber by the minute. Brewed another coffee, spilled half of it on my notes. Perfect.
Finally slapped something together. Looks about as likely as finding a unicorn in my backyard.
- Ramsdale
- Tomiyasu, Kiwior, Gabriel, Cedric (Why Cedric? I still don’t know)
- Jorginho, Rice (Because who else?)
- Nelson, Havertz (Praying he wakes up), Trossard
- Eddie
Made myself laugh. Cedric and Havertz together? Arteta wouldn’t, right? Probably sees this lineup and laughs too. Then I remembered his surprise choices last season. Who even knows?
In the end, trying to predict this stuff is basically trying to read tea leaves while blindfolded. You look at injuries, past picks, tired legs, Bolton’s threats, form… pile it all up. It just collapses into a giant guessing game. Feel like I wasted half the day and ended up more clueless than when I started. Arteta plays some kid from the U21s and blows it all up anyway. Happens every time. Lesson learned? Maybe stop trying to predict lineups. But hey, here’s mine. Probably totally wrong.