By 
Why I Dug Into This Mess
Got obsessed with Inter Miami after Messi joined last year. Saw them lose 5-1 to Atlanta last season while chugging beers at El Camino’s sports bar. Got roasted by ATL fans saying we’d always be their punching bag. That pissed me off.
The Data Nightmare
Started scraping MLS match archives at 3am using my busted laptop. MLS website kept timing out – their API’s more fragile than an ikea shelf. Had to cross-check four different soccer forums because the 2018 opener wasn’t recorded right anywhere. Some drunk Redditor claimed we won 4-0 when actually we drew 1-1. Fake stats everywhere.
Biggest frustrations:
- Found THREE different goal counts for our 2020 away match
- MLS site listed Campana’s 2022 hat trick under “Own Goals” for two days
- That cursed torrential rain match where nobody could read the stats sheet
The Wins That Actually Mattered
August 2023 with Messi’s debut – everyone remembers that circus. But nobody talks about our 3-0 smackdown in September 2021. Josef Martinez got red-carded after elbowing Figal. Felt so good watching Alba’s grandpa celebrate in the stands that night.
Real underdog moment? October 2022. Down 2-0 at half. Gonzalo Higuain pulled off a bicycle kick that made even ATL fans clap. Won 3-2 wearing those ugly pink third kits. My neighbor punched a hole through his drywall celebrating.
Losses That Still Hurt
That 2019 U.S. Open Cup semi-final still stings like lemon juice on a papercut. Blew a 3-1 lead in extra time. Pizarro missed the pen that would’ve sent us through. Saw grown men crying in the parking lot. Also never forget April 2021 when we got thrashed 4-0 at home. Coach’s face looked like he’d smelled rotten eggs all match.
What This Mess Taught Me
Records are dirtier than Miami Beach sand. Even MLS can’t keep its stats straight. We’ve beaten them exactly when nobody expected – like underdogs biting back. But ATL still owns us when it counts. Truth hurts.
Would I do this again? Hell no – spent three weekends fixing data like it’s my accounting homework. But next time some drunk ATL fan runs his mouth at the bar? Yeah, I’ve got ammo now.