By oldest 
Today I figured I’d tackle Arsenal injury updates since my fantasy football team’s falling apart. Grabbed my phone, opened the news app, and started digging around like a squirrel hunting for nuts.
The hunt begins
First I checked Arsenal’s official site – no injury section there, typical. Jumped over to football news sites instead. Found five different sources and guess what? All had conflicting info. One said Thomas Partey was out for two weeks, another claimed six months! Almost threw my coffee cup.
Decided to cross-reference stuff myself. Went through:
- Recent match reports
- Manager press conference quotes (painstakingly watched 20 minute videos at 2x speed)
- Those dodgy “injury expert” accounts on social media
Making sense of the mess
Here’s what actually seems legit based on this week’s news:
- Odegaard: Twisted his ankle last match. Doc says light training in 7 days.
- Jesus: Knee flare-up. Club posting rehab vids – probably back after international break.
- Timber: Still doing solo runs after ACL. Not expecting him till December honestly.
- Zinchenko: Calf tightness. Medical staff saying “precautionary rest” whatever that means.
The Partey situation made me want to scream. Three sources had three different muscle injury diagnoses. Ended up trusting the physio podcast guy who correctly predicted Saka’s absence last month.
My lazy solution
Got sick of daily digging. Made a chalkboard wall in my kitchen tracking:
- Current injuries in red marker
- Expected return dates in green (with question marks everywhere)
- Added conspiracy theories in tiny writing (Arteta hiding Saliba’s knock?)
Wife thinks I’ve lost it. But when Eddie Nketiah comes off early Saturday, bet she’ll be asking me for updates!
